home Uncategorized Study Shows Lack of Clowns to Blame for Increase in Owensboro Crime

Study Shows Lack of Clowns to Blame for Increase in Owensboro Crime

There’s no doubt that crime is on the rise in the BBQ capital of the world and one firm has put their top researchers on it to find out why.

Darne Eratum, Chief Analyst at Spurious Data Partners, says after months of crunching numbers they have pinpointed the source for an influx of crime in Owensboro.

Research indicates crime started rapidly increasing in November of 2017 and at the same time there was a sharp decrease in creepy clown sightings.

Eratum said, “Our best guess is that these clowns lurking in the night were actually watching over our community and protecting us against violent crimes.”

The International Clown Powwow (ICP) issued the following statement about the findings from Spurious Data Partners , “Clowns are supposed to bring people joy and laughter so we have always worked during the night to stop criminals who bring fear to our neighborhoods. But now we live in a world where horror films portray clowns as the bad guys. It has created a bad public image for us. We’ve been exiled to remote areas and communities are now suffering.”

ICP plans to submit a proposal for converting Gabe’s Tower into a clown sanctuary.

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