Leaked documents indicate lobbyists with the group P.E.T.A. (People Ending Traditions Abruptly) may have influenced local festivity committee members to slice the big event down from a weekend affair to a single day. The group aims to end any & all rituals of fun and comradery especially ones that involve eating food. It seems that …

A document left behind in a local diner shows plans to extend Highway 54 through the city. According to the document economist have determined Highway 54 is a fast growing corridor despite the current business restrictions. To take advantage of the “54 boom” officials with the Bureau of Underutilized Metropolitan Sectors have decided to reroute …

A group of dogs from Owensboro are implementing a new system to stop their owners from getting attacked by mailmen. An orange sticker means there’s a mailman living at that address and a yellow sticker means there’s a mailman next door. A sticker on the mailbox doesn’t mean the mailman is vicious, but it helps …

In an incredible turn of events the 81 bridge has been hit a second time in one week. Authorities were krafty enough to ask a nearby meat processing plant for surveillance video of the vehicle. They have no leads at this time but the dogs are hot on the trail. Public Information Officer Azkhar M. …

The original Home Alone house is somewhere in Chicago but after the success of the first movie, the house was inundated with tourists which drove the residents insane. When the studio asked to use the home for the opening scenes in the second movie, the homeowners declined saying, “keep the change ya filthy animals.” Desperate …

There’s no doubt that crime is on the rise in the BBQ capital of the world and one firm has put their top researchers on it to find out why. Darne Eratum, Chief Analyst at Spurious Data Partners, says after months of crunching numbers they have pinpointed the source for an influx of crime in …

Downing Rigatoni, famously known for her borrowed catchphrase “Cash Me Outside,” will be visiting the Owensboro area this weekend. Robin Bhanks, spokeswoman for Trailblaze Regional Credit Union, announced Rigatoni’s visit via social media this morning adding, “Starting this weekend, our members won’t even have to come inside the branch to make deposits. Your checks will …

Owensboro’s new airport director, Oscar W. Bravo, said it didn’t take very long for him to figure out why Owensboro could only get a few flights per week. “Basically, we just need to go into the settings and enable flight mode” Bravo said. He says when you get a new airport, you’ve got to get …

Many people are unaware that former White House Communications Director, Sean Spicer, is also a member of the U.S. Navy Reserves. Spicer’s lesser-known government job sent him on an assignment to western Kentucky this weekend to assess the Blue Angels performance at the Owensboro Air Show. Mayor Holmes said, “I won’t beat around the bush…we …

Ed Sessuf-Ledfüt, a German native who has recently moved to Owensboro, thought for certain he would be arrested and his green card would be in jeopardy after he was caught speeding in excess of 20 MPH in a residential area. Sessuf-Ledfüt had just returned from a joy ride on the “Autobahn” Parkway, an open stretch …