OWENSBORO, KY — Robert de Bildur, Chairman of Owensboro’s Vacant Building Society thinks the number of buildings sitting empty in Owensboro is too darn high.
In today’s regularly scheduled deserted public session, Chairman Bildur said, “This town could use fewer fire pits and more pulpits.”
The society is recommending an influx of non-denominational churches, more banks with nine lines but only one teller, and a plethora of used cars lots which Bildur said should feature Ford Pintos, PT Cruisers, and Dodge Neons.
There’s no word on whether the city will act on the society’s recommendations.
Bildur closed the meeting by ceremonially asking the empty room, “can we fix it?” and a chorus of children’s voices in the distance could be heard chanting, “yes we can!”